Chapter 6
December 2008
After hearing what Joanna told him about Serna said the night before, Sam was upset more than surprised. Serena did not have faith in him. That was all he could think about. When he heard about Serena thought he was dating Joanna, he was twisted. How can she think he would date other girl?
Sam shook his head and got changed quickly; he knew he would not have any mood to do anything that day.
Walking up the Great Wall was exciting. The view around was stunning, and the Great Wall itself was mightly, it was beyond words.
“Wow, it’s beautiful.” Serena exclaimed.
“Hey, let’s take a picture together.” Joanna said to both Serena and Jasmine.
Sam approached them, “Let me help you with that.” He offered with a smile. Joanna looked at him weird and nodded. “Say cheers!” Sam said and took the picture. His eyes fixed on Serena when looking at the camera. She had the angel smile dancing on her lips. He wished he could receive that smile when she was talking to him.
“Are you done, Sam?” Joanna asked in a voice of doubt.
Sam snapped out of his stupid thought, “Yeah.” He walked to them and returned the camera to Joanna.
The entire day he kept stealing glances from Serena. His mind was sucked out and gone to her. He could not take his eyes off her; it was just like at the every first beginning.
After visiting the Great Wall, which was the last scenery spot, they would go to Xian by train. The drive on the way over to the railway station was a long and rough one. Serena could not sleep well on the night before due to the conversation she had with Joanna. Serena knew that she was stupid to think that Joanna was with Sam. Right after the conversation, Serena had put that thought behind, however what she could not throw behind was that the truth that Sam still loved her. She really hoped that Sam ignoring her was because he wanted her to move on, he wanted her to forget about him and started over a new and happy life. Serena half smiled at her own foolishness, knowing that was just what she thought to comfort herself, shaking her head, she put on the headphone and switched on the iPod, she hoped some music could help her relief. She closed her eyes and wishing some sleep would come as well.
Half and hour later, she opened her eyes and sighed loudly, she was so annoyed that she could not fall asleep even though she wanted to so much. Serena leaned against the window, her right shoulder resting on the side; she stared out of the window, enjoying the view of the countryside. Staring out of the window, Serena remembered.
“Nothing special, because I can’t take in some parts.” Sam smirked.
“But you have a something-special face.” Serena noted.
“Well, the part that I can take in is that, as you were sleeping you said my name, like a million times.” Sam said.
“Oh.” was all Serena could say.
“And…you said…” Sam continued.
“What else did I say?” Serena asked.
“You said you loved me.”
“You knew that already.” Serena reminded him.
“It was nice to hear.” Sam murmured. Serena hit her face against his shoulder.
“I love you.”
“You are my heart; no one else can replace you.” Sam answered.
“Do you really have any idea how important you are to me? How much I love you?” Serena complained.
“Yeah, and I also know how much I love you.” Sam said, he pulled Serena tighter against his chest, and moved his lips to Serena’s cheek and kissed her and whispered in her ear, “Don’t worry, love, I’m not planning on breaking any promises and become just friends with you, I’m not.”
“Turn around.” Sam said suddenly.
Serena turned and her mouth hanged open, Sam was standing right behind her.
“Surprised!” Sam smirked and opened his arms for her.
It took a few moments before Serena could bring herself to say anything.
“What’re you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at that stupid gathering?” Serena said as she was hugging him tightly.
“Yeah, I can just skip it anyway. Besides, I wanna surprised you.” Sam replied and pulled her back.
“Oh, Sam.” Serena smiled happily.
“I would like to say it in person.” Sam smirked, his azure eyes was glittering. “I love you, Serena.”
She sighed. Right now, everything seemed like a dream, it felt like they never happened.
“Family. I will choose my family over you if I have to.” Sam locked eyes with Serena.
Serena gasped, suddenly she understood the meaning behind, she understood why Sam said that. Sam had warned her but she never realized.
“Serena, I tell you because I don’t you to get hurt when it happens.”
“Serena, I want you to know, no matter what I choose, my heart is always with you.”
“Promise me that you will remember that. My heart will never leave you, not even for a second.”
His heart was always with Serena, was that really true? Sam once looked at her in the eye and told her he loved her so much but it seemed like he was never serious, it was just a joke.
Now on the coach, Serena put a hand over her eyes; she did not want to remember anymore. Remembering only hurt her…..everytime. She could not believe Sam had warned her, he knew something was going to happen but still he let it happen. Serena tried so hard not to think about Sam. Serena searched for her camera in the pocket, she really needed something to distract her; she sighed when she figured that it was in her backpack.
“Jas, you awake?” Serena whispered.
Jasmine did not move nor show any replied. Serena sighed and got to her feet and moved over to the left quietly, she grabbed hold on the arm of the seat for support. Serena reached up and grabbed her backpack in the overhead cabin and zipped it open. The backpack was full of things, scarf, candies, gloves, sunglasses, NDSL, everything. It became so difficult for her to search for the camera. She took the scarf and gloves out and she almost had her head buried into the backpack.
“Got cha.” Serena said to herself when she finally got hold of the camera. She zipped the backpack and put it back into the overhead cabin. Serena looked around and saw everyone was sleeping soundly, and she was wondering why she could not fall asleep like them! The moment she started to move back to her seat, the coach went in a pothole and shook, but it seemed that no one was woken because of that. However, it sent Serena to the right, and she tried to grab the side of the seat for support but was in vain. A hand was placed behind Serena’s waist and she landed safely on someone’s lap.
Sam’s lap, to be précised.
“Are you okay?” Sam asked quietly, obviously he had not been sleeping like everyone else on the coach. Serena turned around and locked eyes with him, she stared at his crystal blue eyes.
Sam moved his hand away from Serena and shook her gently, “Hey, Serena?” he asked, confused.
Serena continued to look at him and suddenly she blinked as few times and realized that she had to say something, “I’m ok, ah…thanks.” Her voice shook a bit and she forced a smile to Sam, and she quickly got up and had herself settled back in her seat. Her heart bumped rapidly, she took deep breathes but didn’t help much. She was starting to wonder if what she had been doing was right. She kept telling herself to forget about Sam, to really push him away, because she couldn’t bear to cope with things like that again. But on the other hand, she couldn’t stop thinking of him, Sam was still having 99% of the space in her heart, and she just couldn’t let go.
Finally the long and rough way to the railway station was over, they arrived at the station at nine thirty at night, and they got their tickets and waited noisily to get on the train.
“Hey, what’s your ticket number?” Jasmine asked Serena.
“Ah…it’s 918.” Serena examined the ticker and added, “What about yours?”
“917. Great! I’ll be in the same kart with you!” Jasmine said happily and excitingly.
“What about Joanna and the others?” Serena asked.
“By the others, you mean?” Jasmine teased.
“You think too much, there’s no meaning behind, just answer the question.” Serena said as she shot Jasmine a dead glare.
“Faith, Joanna, Sam, Lax, you and I, we will all be in the same kart.”
Serena swallowed when she heard Sam’s name, she was wondering if it was fate, why would they be in the same kart? Maybe God never wanted Serena let go of Sam.
“Everyone, it’s almost time, we should get going. Two by two, don’t get lost, and don’t let any stranger break your line, grabbed hold of your suitcase and follow me tight.” Tom shouted loudly in case the students could not hear him. Two by two, everyone started to walk to the platform, everyone stuck together. Finally after a long and challenging walk, they arrived at Platform 16. Everyone got into their kart, after settling down. Since the light on the train would go out at 11 sharp, so the four girls first went to brush their teeth first and the boys stayed in the kart to look after the suitcase.
The train was very warm. Actually it was extremely hot, but it was not possible to take off your clothes. Sam, Serena, Jasmine, Lax, Joanna and Faith were staying in the same kart. Sam and Faith slept on the lowest bunks, Jasmine and Serena on the highest and Lax and Joanna in the middle bunks. It’s really way too hot, and it’s definitely a miracle that anyone could actually fall asleep.
After chatting for like three hours, about so many things, mainly gossiping and it was almost two in the morning, and everyone was tired from the long trip that day. Faith and Joanna offered to have some sleep before the sun rises and the rest went to take some rest as well.
“S, are you going to sleep?” Jasmine asked as she pointed at the bunk on top.
“Nah, I’ll sit here for a while.” Serena was sitting on Sam’s bed, reading. She was not sleepy at all. After the chat ended, she picked up the book and read. Serena wanted to sit on Faith’s bunk but she did not want to be kicked off the bed in the middle of the night, so she had no choice but to sit on Sam’s.
Sam had his head buried under his left arm and had been asleep the moment he lied down.
Jasmine glanced at Sam and then back to Serena. “Ok, night.” She climbed up the narrow stairs and settled in bed hoping to get some sleep before the sun rose.
Gosh, it’s so hot here! Serena thought, it was like 26 degree Celsius in the train and they have worn as least three layers of clothes and a very thick pants right that moment, since Beijing was so cold, and they won’t get a chance to take them off when the train was a so opened one, everyone could see what you were doing. Serena took off her head band, put on the headphone, listened to her iPod and then, in half an hour, she dozed off.
Sam couldn’t move; something heavy was resting on his legs.
“What the hell?” Sam turned his head to see Serena snuggled up against his legs on his bed. Sam couldn’t feel his leg anymore; he tried in vain to move. He pushed himself up again. Sam placed his hand under Serena’s head not wanting to wake her, and he lifted her up as gentle as he could. He slowly pulled his legs out from Serena’s heavy form.
“I miss you.” Sam said to himself as he reached to touch Serena’s cheek. Serena was sleeping so soundly through the dim light and then images just started to flicker over his head, he thought of all the happy things that they have had together last year, he remembered Serena always curled into a ball and slept against his chest and he would have his arm wrapped around her, he remembered the happy times they had in Florida, and he just hated himself so much because all those things that he could have without any problem, but now he got none for he torn them apart.
Sam had been looking at Serena for a long time before he turned away and took out a small blanket from his backpack and covered Serena with it until it reached her cheek. Sam smiled as he looked at Serena who was sleeping like little kid. He was happy to have her once again in his arms. It was funny that around every ten minutes, she would roll to the other side and would push the blanket away, and then Sam would pull it up over her again but he was happy to do so.
“You really move a lot….” Sam whispered to himself with a smile.
He was sitting there for an hour, eyes on Serena. He picked up the iPod that Serena has dropped on the floor and put it beside his backpack. Sam tucked Serena once again after dealing with her iPod.
Sam stood up after a while to stretch his legs and arms, the bed was really tiny, but he did not care, he did not mind Serena could have the whole bunk; he just wanted to have her with him right now. He wanted her so much. Right this moment was a very good time because when she was asleep, she would not leave him. When Sam sat down on the bed again Serena groaned softly and then finally sitting up, she looked at Sam with blank expression, and suddenly she snapped back and whispered, “Sorry, I’ll go back up. You can have your bunk back.” Serena swung her leg off the bed but Sam grabbed her in the arm.
The words that Sam hoped not to hear finally come out from Serena’s mouth.
Why happy moment just would not last longer? Sam asked himself.
“No, stay.” he pointed at the pillow, he wanted her to stay, he really did; Serena looked at him for a few second, she nodded and then moved up. After Serena settled herself on the pillow, Sam lied down on the bunk next to her and made Serena stiffed. But soon Serena drifted off and finally relaxed and moved closer to Sam. Serena’s head ended pillow on Sam’s shoulder. He shifted to a comfortable position and then drifted off to his sleep.
“No, please!” Serena whispered, as her whole body kept shaking. Sam was woken by the sudden trembling and he opened his eyes and turned to look at Serena.
“No no no…..” Serena sobbed and curled closer to Sam’s chest.
Sam coaxed as he figured she was having a nightmare, “It’s just a nightmare.” he whispered soothingly in Serena’s ear and gently patted on her back.
“Don’t leave.” Serena whispered as she stirred. Her face had tearstains on them and she had gotten as close to Sam’s body as she could. At that moment, Sam thought Serena was awake and really crying and talking to him but when he brushed Serena’s hair away from her eyes, he found that she was still sleeping. Sam kissed her on her forehead and brushed her forehead with his cheek.
Sam patted her gently on the back and softly saying, “It’s just a dream. It’s just a dream.”
Serena was shaking a little; he noticed her behavior and hugged her little more closer, rocking slowly. His arms wrapped around her tightly, had her against his chest, hoping that she could feel safe. With the thought of having Serena as close to him as possible, Sam drifted back off to sleep again.
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