Then and Now

1095 days ago, I was stupid enough to give you my heart
You did not handle with care you even toyed with it
You played it hard, and broke it hard
But never have I thought you would actually hurt it
The scar that you’ve made is vivid and fresh,
I cried in pain, yelled in tears
It took me ages to heal and forget
I’d lost count for how many years
I fell on my knees,
Gathered the shattered pieces
Locking it in a chest.
I no longer looked back.
I buried it deep down in a vault
I swore no one is going to touch it again
I shut the door and hid the key
Not planning to let anybody in

Both times I did it.
I did not hand my heart to anybody
He loved me,
It’s his business, not mine.
It is protected by a guard
Released day is not that early
I just could not hand him my heart
Because I knew the ending will be ugly
What is the point of giving away the cards?

Now here comes the fourth time
I am scared and lost in confusion
For the door is going to be opened anytime
Tears come again because I feel so touched
Hearing what you said
I fear that once my heart is touched
It can never be set
Putting the broken heart into one piece
For the second time
I don’t have the faintest idea how
All I can do is to stop it and hide
I tried not to let him in,
But whatever he does
Seems to be finding his way in
My heart tells me that it wants to be touched.
But I have forbidden it.
I am scared of it
How many times you’ve told me you like me for real,
But how many times I have doubted it.
I am scared to make the same mistake twice
Maybe you will ask me why
All I could say is you don’t deserve to be lie
You are so good to me
And that scare me big time
Because what if I make you love me
Then I turn around saying goodbye?
Forgive me if I’m acting not right
I want to take it slow
Before making the decision of whether I should try
For it is not a simple show